It's never too easy to come over through a break-up & start ones normal life once again everything takes time and heal. This is a write-up of mine on such an incident which had been published at Bonobology India -The Home of Indian Couples
Heartbreak is known to have taken
several to the brink. Here's a story of how counseling and finding strength in
a marriage can turn lives around
I am the
6-foot dusky boy from the physiotherapy batch. I saw her first at the
examination hall during our first exam. She, a thin, pale-skinned girl dressed
in a white salwar kameez was seated right behind me. There was a terrified look
on her face, for she was trying to conceal a paper I had brought to copy from,
in the exam. I had thrown it under her feet when Dr. Dewan was close enough to
trap me in the act.
There was
something in those beautiful dark eyes which prevented me from sleeping for
almost a week. I grew curious about her. This curiosity resulted in a beautiful
friendship between both of us.
She was a
post-graduation student. I proposed to her within a year. She was taken aback
and whispered timidly, “Sorry dear. I know we both share a relationship that is
deeper than friendship. I would love to accept your proposal but our society
would never accept us. I am older than you. Besides, our faiths are different.
I cannot let down my parents.”
She walked
away as she said this and I stood there hoping she would turn back. As if
something in her heard my hopes, she ran back to me, kissed me hard and said,
“But I cannot live without you.”
And there
was no turning back from there on. Ten years passed. We became inseparable. She
waited for me to complete my Bachelor’s degree and supported me while I got
settled. She became my life support.
But our
relationship was riddled with insecurity. Most things can be mended but faith
once betrayed is hard to mend. We were always suspicious that the other was
having a secret affair. We became possessive to the point of ruthlessly
invading each other’s space.
Tensions
between us mounted. Discussions didn’t help. Instead there were more outbursts,
quarrels and anxieties that led to depression. We tried hard but eventually
came to an understanding that some relationships must end in friendship instead
of a life partnership.
The breakup
left me shattered. I took to alcoholism and eventually quit my job. My friends
suggested counselling. One morning, whilst still in bed with a heavy hangover,
I was making plans to end my life. With my paramedical background, I realised I
needed help. I immediately made an appointment with a counsellor. On
reaching there I poured my heart out and breathed a sigh of relief. Fortunately
for me, my life started getting back into normal gear after a few sessions.
Two years
late, I saw her again at our University’s Silver Jubilee Meet. We crossed paths
but dared not make eye contact. Standing apart from the crowd I watched her
walking gracefully in a pink saree. Somewhere the deep pain was relapsing
again. I wanted to hug her, kiss her tight but knew deep down inside that she
was with someone else.
Amidst the
pain, I felt a warm hand holding my sweaty palm and softly whispering to me,
“Go talk to her, it will ease your tension.” I saw a beautiful lady dressed in
blue besides me. She was my wife – my friend for life. I kissed her on her
forehead and said, “No, that’s a hallucination from the past. I’m lucky to be
with you; my present and the future of my life.”
Today my
partner knows my past as I know hers. She has given me the space to express
myself, values my privacy and understands me better than I do. She gives me the
conviction that some life partnerships do end in great friendships. My prompt
action in seeking counselling helped me step away from the brink of taking my
own life, and her presence has strengthened my will to live.
(As
told to Joyeeta Talukdar) 
A beautiful weaved story. Relationships are like that and so complex to understand.
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